Someone recently asked me what self-care really meant. I gave my patented answer that self-care is really in the eyes of the beholder. For one woman it may mean a mani-pedi while for others it would be a walk in nature or lunch with a favorite friend.
On further reflection, though, I think self-care is about knowing the difference between recess and P.E. I’ve been reading Gretchen Rubin’s book, Better than Before, and she talks about her daughter having “choice time”, a time during the school day when you can read, or draw or do whatever you would like. As I was thinking about my own habits and scheduling, I realized I had very little “choice time” in my day. I made time for things I deemed important and necessary but there wasn’t a lot of room for freedom or (and as a life coach who preaches about joy, this pains me to admit) fun. I did fun things, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I did them with an air of rigidity; a “this is my fun time dammit” attitude.
I began thinking about giving myself “choice time” during my day and this led me to look at my schedule in reference to a school day. There is the morning stuff; turning in homework and sitting quietly listening to announcements before the day begins; this is my “quiet time”- which I do before I look at emails or social media. There are times for specific disciplines; reading, writing, arithmetic. This is my time for blogging, posting on social media, budgeting and paying bills (I love being literal).
And then there’s P.E. … or is it recess? I realized I was lumping them into the same category. Moving my body most days is non-negotiable. I do it because it makes me feel good mentally and physically. And sometimes it is a lot of fun. But like P.E. used to feel to me- somedays it’s fun (yea! four square day!) and somedays you just have to get through it (ugh, the Presidential Fitness Test and those damn chin ups- am I the only third grader who tried to play hooky that day?). Some days I exercise because I know it’s good for me and I’ll feel better for having done it but there’s no joy to it and it’s not fun. It’s p.e. on the day you have to run the mile. You did it and you’re glad for having done it but it’s NOT recess… and you know what? I need recess- I need a little recess every single day, just like kids do. I need some “choice time” to read or color or just sit on the swings and daydream.
What I recognize now is that a little recess every day allows me to do the “important” work of reading, writing and arithmetic. It replenishes me and keeps me from becoming exhausted and resentful and stale. And here’s another thing I realized; when I don’t “take recess”, my worn out brain creates it in the most pitiful and sorry of ways; scrolling through Facebook, fog eating crappy food, watching tv shows I don’t even enjoy just so I can zone out.
So, since I am a professional problem solver here’s what I did: I went back to my daily calendar and for the next week, as an experiment I colored in (in colored marker) RECESS. Every day, non-negotiable, just like prayer time and exercise time and blog writing time and client time. Important note: this time must be scheduled. If I wait until all of my “work” is done I will never get to recess because let’s face it- my work is never really done.
What about you? Want to join me? Let’s see what happens when we get intentional about our self-care. I’ll be looking for your responses… see you on the playground.
Are you struggling with making time for self-care or for the things you most want to do or be? Let me help you! Click here to schedule a 30 minute discovery session where I can help you get clear about what you want and how you can get it.