Remember Fun Fridays? Remember when we used to throw caution to the wind and go to the store sans mask, gloves and hand sanitizer?
Although our reality has changed we can still have Fun Fridays (or Saturdays, or Wednesdays for that matter); they just may look a bit different and you may have to put forth some effort to find the fun. The good news is you may end up in places you never knew existed. You may end up with new hobbies, friends, or passions.
If you are feeling like the fun has all but left the building and aren’t sure how or where to begin your search for it, here are a few questions to ask yourself to jump start a little joy today:
- What do I miss? Is it book club, tennis group, lunches with friends, live theater, movies, museums, group fitness classes, date nights? Start by naming what you miss.
- What is it specifically that you miss about the thing? Say more… what is the FEELING that you have when you are doing that thing? Is it the exhilaration of hitting the perfect backhand or perhaps the social time after the game is over? Do you miss the camaraderie of talking about books or connecting with friends? Maybe it’s the peace you feel during that precious time alone in the car on your way to your favorite fitness class or the endorphin high you feel from getting your sweat on. Naming that feeling is critical.
- Now that you know what it is your missing can you think of some ways to scratch that itch? This is where you need to get creative. Brainstorm all the ways (both now and pre-pandemic) that you found your fun. Pay attention to what you still can do. Let me give you an example from my own life and list. Season tickets to our local theater with my friends was a huge joy for me. We would meet, watch the show, and then go out to eat. This one event ticked three things off the list that I love: live theater, connecting with friends, and eating a great meal out. Obviously live theater is a no go. I can, however, meet that need in other ways. There is of course the obvious – HAMILTON on Disney+ on repeat, listening to my favorite show tunes while I exercise, as well as a plethora of theater related content on YouTube, Netflix and Amazon. I have had several zoom calls, phone calls and of course, text messaging sessions with friends. And I’ve even been able to meet for lunch a few times with my peeps. When I recognize what I DO have available to me it feels not quite so sad.
- Noticing is the first step. Now that you can see where you have at least a few of the things that seemed out of reach, can you see where you can build on those? And more importantly, spend some time thinking ( and dreaming) about other ways you can add joy to your life.
What I’ve found is when we recognize that there is still joy in our daily lives (yep – gratitude will help with this) it opens us up to more. Feeling the pain of what we have lost is an important step, but left unchecked that grief can turn into thoughts that don’t serve us and keep us stuck in misery.
If you’re new to me and my work this may seem confusing or counter intuitive. If you need some help navigating your grief or finding your joy but don’t know where to begin let’s have a chat. This is what my free 30 minute consult is for. To show you how coaching can help you change your thoughts and your life!
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